i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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