The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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