spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
