Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
