Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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