Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
