Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
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