i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
