If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He kissed a someone with a penis
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
you had me at cake vodka
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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