So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Randomize
