she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
