Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
