you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
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