I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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