Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
