i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I just forgot I was standing up.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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