Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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