i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
