normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
