Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
