Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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