i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
