***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize
