He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
