just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
