I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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