Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Randomize
