why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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