uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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