Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
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