I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
