Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize
