I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
...so i touched it.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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