ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Randomize
