yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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