butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
It's rum buckets o'clock
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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