You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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