Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
