is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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