he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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