id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
