I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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