It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize