hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
