Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
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