My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
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