There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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