Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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