when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
