no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
