so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
